Making changes

Lately I have been feeling stuck. I look in the mirror and see myself looking old, colorless, bland. To that end, I decided to make a few changes.

First, I found a hairstyle I like that I think I can pull off:

Then, I made an appointment at the salon and took a "before" picture:

Then I shard the photo with the stylist and had her cut my hair and wax my eyebrows. I also went to the makeup counter at JC Penny's and bought some new lipstick and a new, waterproof mascara (because the one I have gets washed away by my eye drops) and took this photo:

When I got home, I added makeup and took this picture:

I am a little disappointed in my stylist because she doesn't know how to "round brush" hair, which I think would have added volume and curl to my cut, making it look closer to the inspiration photo, but I am going to try that myself today. I also think she was intimidated by how long my hair actually was, and despite cutting off almost 4 inches in length and adding layers, she placed the layers fairly low down, so while they are obvious, they are not as obvious as they are in the inspiration picture. I am going to play with it and see how this style works for me, and if nothing else, I can always try again when I am in need of another haircut. I have. Round brush, my hot rollers, and my curling iron. She did clean up and angle my bangs, which I am trying to grow out (as much as they bug me right now) and we will see where this takes me. My goal is to daily put on subtle makeup (mascara and blush) because my eyes are so small looking otherwise, and to wear lipstick when I leave the house to add some color to my face and define my features a bit.

I bought a weight watchers brand scale yesterday as well, to help monitor where I am at, and will again resume counting points (I easily get off track and then give up). I have gone through my closet and dresser drawers and pulled out a huge bag of things I no longer like, wear, or want, and will put them out for the clothing drive on Thursday, and I have made a point of putting away my clothes as soon as they are folded. I am trying to work on reducing the clutter in my life so I feel better about me, and by extension my stuff, realizing that it is a process and wont change overnight. I figure Reimond is graduating in May, which will create a new turning point in MY life, so my goal is to slowly prepare myself for the next phase, that of being a parent to adult children who are responsible for themselves (at least for the most part). I am looking towards finding an internship, and perhaps a part-time job, something that will help with the budget as well as allow me to do something meaningful outside of the house.

For me, it's about taking small steps forward in faith, dealing with one thing at a time, and learning new habits. Change is, and always has been scary for me, but as the old saying goes: change occurs when the pain of staying the same is greater than the fear of moving forward. I am tired of feeling stuck and spinning my wheels. I know this time of stasis has been a blessing in so many ways, but I am ready to start letting go of some things so that there is room for new blessings. I trust in God's plan for my future, and I look forward to this new chapter in my life, one that is focused primarily on my relationship with my husband and our life, while encouraging the "children" to be independent adults, responsible for themselves and their life choices.

These next few months are going to be works in progress, and I highly doubt things will be finished by the time Memorial Day comes around, but at least I am making a start.