Just when I think things are starting to turn around, something else has to throw a monkey wrench into my world... The last two day s have been stressful.
Monday was the 17th anniversary of my dad's death. It is generally a rough day for me because Reimond and I were the only members of the family to see and spend time with him that day before he died. It is always a day of reflection and some sadness for me. Anyhow, I also had a doctor's appointment for me that day, a routine med check for my prescriptions I take. I had done my labs the previous week, and she said there were some things that came up on them. My good cholesterol was a bit low, but the rest of the numbers were good; my thyroid numbers were off though, so I need to have a new dosage. My fear is that the lowered dosage may be reflected in weight gain (again) and I have been so proud of keeping thos 15 pounds off that I have initially lost on WWs. Then she also said there was blood in my urine spec. and has been there now for over 6 months. Because there is no sign of infection this time I need to go see a urologist to find out what may be causing it. Looking on line it can be anything from benign to fairly serious, and it concerns me. I don't like not knowing.
Then yesterday I had an appointment with the eye doctor. I have noticed my vision progressively getting blurrier and I have had some eye strain issues with my handwork and reading/computer stuff so I figured I just needed new glasses. I was told I have cataracts in both eyes and while they are not bad enough to require surgical intervention, that could change in 6 months or in 2-5 years. There is no way to predict it. The next blow was that the pressure in my eyes is too high and I need to be tested for glaucoma. There are treatment options there too, but this is something that is irreversible once damage occurs. So far I haven't lost significant sight that I am aware of peripherally, but this too freaks me out. I rely on my eyes to do the things that keep me sane: my handwork, reading, and writing. I realize things are not at a crisis level or anything at this point, but the fear of losing my eyesight has me spooked. Eric took me out last night to get new glasses with a prescription that has made things much clearer again, and he took me out to dinner while we waited for the glasses to be made (God Bless Lens Crafters! I have never gotten same day glasses before!). It is wonderful to see things clearly again; I knew things had gotten bad, but to have it in focus now reinforces how bad it had been...
I am trying hard not to catastrophize things. I am trying to keep things in perspective and accept that the tests need to be run, and that the outcomes may be minor rather than worst-case. I just don't like dealing with unknowns, and I hate that my body is "aging" because especially with the cataracts, this is an issue generally for individuals so much older than me! I will do what I have to do to keep my vision as clear as I can for as long as I can, because I need to have my handwork and my books. I cannot imagine life without them. And as for the other medical things, I will take the lower dose of the thyroid hormone and go back for a follow up in 2 months, and I will go see the urologist and get an exam for that as well. I have so much to do still and I need to be healthy to do it. So please, say a prayer for me, that things go well, that there are simple fixes for what is ailing me, and that life starts slowing down to a manageable level. I sure could use some stress-free living!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Halloween 2011
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| All dressed up as Batgirl! |
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| Superhero pose! (note the hand on hip of each) |
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| See some of my loot? And mommy was Robin. |
Rei went out as Superman to a friend's party, and I guess did some trick-or-treating on the way home; he came home with a bag ful of loot as well... Eric came home from work, all decked out in his uniform, and a kid at the door said "Nice costume dude!" to which his buddy whispered in a loud voice "I think he's a real cop..." Eric and I both found it funny.
Loved seeing all the little ones out and about, although some of the parents bringing tiny babies out was confusing--they are too small to eat candy anyway; for that matter Skye can't eat much of what she brought home, but she really enjoyed seeing and following all of the kids.
Today is gonna be a "working" day for me and only me. Brie didn't work, and has no classes, so I am focused on my homework (I am an assignment behind, and have one due today) and catching up on chores that I started yesterday. Eric had talked about us going away for the weekend this past weekend, but given the state of finances, we elected to stay home, so we spent the entire weekend engrossed in Everquest with our friends and guildmates, or (in my case) reading a series I am really enjoying that takes place in the Alaskan bush. We just enjoyed each other's company, tried to ignore the kids as much as possible (lol) and played hookey from life. It was wonderful! Unfortunately, catchup isn't so great...
With the Cardinals winning the world series I am done being "forced" to watch baseball, and life can get back so some sembelence of normal around here; the weather is fantastic fall weather, and the stars the last few mornings have been utterly amazing at 5:30 am. I have recommitted myself to working the tracking part of the WW's program and am pleased to say that despite some slacking on my part, I have maintained my loss of almost 15 lbs and numerous inches (did the weigh-in and measurements thing this morning). Now to prepare for the holidays!
Anyhow, that's life here in small town IL... Time to hit the books!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Just wanted to add...
Skye and I are on the Yarn Harlot's blog for her visit to St. Louis yesterday! So exciting! Check it out!
http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/archives/2011/10/23/in_the_pews_in_st_louis.html
http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/archives/2011/10/23/in_the_pews_in_st_louis.html
Another busy weekend!
We have been dealing will illness here all week long. Rei has that bug Eric had and has been stuck in bed since Monday night. You know he's sick when he stays in bed and DOESN'T complain about boredom or wanting to go places. The worst of it has been a headache that isn't going away. He started on antibiotics on Thursday, but the doc said it was more preventative than positive there was a bacterial component to it. Aurora then started with similar symptoms on Thursday night (after getting braces on Thursday morning). She too has been on the couch and not moving much since then. Skye too has been sick, with her first bout of the tummy flu. She got slightly dehydrated with it and I had her to the clinic on Wednesday afternoon. We have been pushing clear liquids and bland food for her, and she seems better finally (threw up the last time on Friday). I am sooo tired of being nursemaid! Brie too threw up on Thursday before leaving for school, but said she was fine on friday. She is now at another Drill weekend (in preparation for their deployment in April) so I have had Skye all by myself all weekend (Eric is working too all weekend).
Fortunately, Skye was well enough to go out yesterday so I took her with me to go to the book signing over in St. Louis by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (The Yarn Harlot). She writes essays about knitting, which are often humorous, and she is also a prolific blogger (see my side panel), whom I follow, and she teaches and designs patterns as well. This was something I was really looking forward to, to the point of running away from home on Friday for an hour to go buy her latest book at Barnes & Nobles (I got the last copy!), so I was glad Skye was up to going. Has she still been sick, I would have had to stay home because they kids were too sick to watch her.
Anyhow, we got to the reading about a half hour early so I could find the church and find parking. I tried to run her around outside for a bit to tire her out (she had only taken about a 45 min nap), and she was being really good. Then the program started late, by about 30 minutes, because of sound system issues. By the time it got going, Skye was overtired, couldn't relax to just nap, and wanted to be on the move and talking. She fussed and screeched at times when thwarted from going her own way, she flirted with people and waved and charmed them, and she essentially caused me to miss about a third of the program because I had to keep taking her outside to quiet her down. I was very disappointed, although I wasn't upset with her--she is little, she was bored, curious, and she just wanted down! It was tiring though. Other mothers with small children had husbands there to take the kids outside so they could enjoy the reading. I was on my own...
Stephanie started signing books afterwards, and an announcement had been made that if for whatever reason some people needed to cut in line to the front that that would be ok, no questions asked. I waited in line for about 20 minutes, but Skye got heavy to hold, and even harder to keep by me, so I did cut to the front, and the lady I stepped in front of was very gracious. I apologized for Skye's disruptions, and Stephanie was very gracious about it, saying that she was very good and it was clear she was just busy, and thanked me for being courteous and taking her out when needed. She also took our picture for her blog and made some lovely comments about my Shipwreck shawl. Oh, and she signed my book too. I left worn out but happy that I was able to be there. And of course Skye fell asleep as soon as I started the van, sleeping til we got home an hour later.
I also got a lot of attention for my shawl from others there. I had brought it with me as a wrap for either me or Skye (hoping she'd fall asleep and I'd just drape it over her like a blanket). It was complimented, I was asked about what yarn I had used, told how lovely the workmanship was, and how beautifully the beads set it off; Skye also wanted it wrapped about her like a cape, and she strutted up and down the back of the church where the reading was being held like a queen; people around us laughed. It was a good day!
When I got home I escaped for a little bit to my room because Dan was around with Aurora in the living room and they said that Skye could play by them. I read in peace and quiet for a half hour, then went back downstairs. I didn't, unfortunately, get any homework done, because the baby stayed up til almost 9 pm, and by the time she went down I was too fried to start anything; Eric had the ball game on in our room (yuck) and the Cards won by a landslide (he fell asleep with the score 15 to 7; final score was 16-7 but I turned it off before the last inning). So today I hope to go wander around the arts and crafts fair at the county fair grounds for a bit, Eric is off at 2 pm, and Brie should be home sometime this afternoon/evening. I will focus on homework once I have someone around who can help with Skye, and then hopefully watch the Good Wife tonight (missed last week's because the timing was off by the network and the DVR only tapes as requested).
Okay, time for coffee, some breakfast, and to start my day!
Fortunately, Skye was well enough to go out yesterday so I took her with me to go to the book signing over in St. Louis by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (The Yarn Harlot). She writes essays about knitting, which are often humorous, and she is also a prolific blogger (see my side panel), whom I follow, and she teaches and designs patterns as well. This was something I was really looking forward to, to the point of running away from home on Friday for an hour to go buy her latest book at Barnes & Nobles (I got the last copy!), so I was glad Skye was up to going. Has she still been sick, I would have had to stay home because they kids were too sick to watch her.
Anyhow, we got to the reading about a half hour early so I could find the church and find parking. I tried to run her around outside for a bit to tire her out (she had only taken about a 45 min nap), and she was being really good. Then the program started late, by about 30 minutes, because of sound system issues. By the time it got going, Skye was overtired, couldn't relax to just nap, and wanted to be on the move and talking. She fussed and screeched at times when thwarted from going her own way, she flirted with people and waved and charmed them, and she essentially caused me to miss about a third of the program because I had to keep taking her outside to quiet her down. I was very disappointed, although I wasn't upset with her--she is little, she was bored, curious, and she just wanted down! It was tiring though. Other mothers with small children had husbands there to take the kids outside so they could enjoy the reading. I was on my own...
Stephanie started signing books afterwards, and an announcement had been made that if for whatever reason some people needed to cut in line to the front that that would be ok, no questions asked. I waited in line for about 20 minutes, but Skye got heavy to hold, and even harder to keep by me, so I did cut to the front, and the lady I stepped in front of was very gracious. I apologized for Skye's disruptions, and Stephanie was very gracious about it, saying that she was very good and it was clear she was just busy, and thanked me for being courteous and taking her out when needed. She also took our picture for her blog and made some lovely comments about my Shipwreck shawl. Oh, and she signed my book too. I left worn out but happy that I was able to be there. And of course Skye fell asleep as soon as I started the van, sleeping til we got home an hour later.
I also got a lot of attention for my shawl from others there. I had brought it with me as a wrap for either me or Skye (hoping she'd fall asleep and I'd just drape it over her like a blanket). It was complimented, I was asked about what yarn I had used, told how lovely the workmanship was, and how beautifully the beads set it off; Skye also wanted it wrapped about her like a cape, and she strutted up and down the back of the church where the reading was being held like a queen; people around us laughed. It was a good day!
When I got home I escaped for a little bit to my room because Dan was around with Aurora in the living room and they said that Skye could play by them. I read in peace and quiet for a half hour, then went back downstairs. I didn't, unfortunately, get any homework done, because the baby stayed up til almost 9 pm, and by the time she went down I was too fried to start anything; Eric had the ball game on in our room (yuck) and the Cards won by a landslide (he fell asleep with the score 15 to 7; final score was 16-7 but I turned it off before the last inning). So today I hope to go wander around the arts and crafts fair at the county fair grounds for a bit, Eric is off at 2 pm, and Brie should be home sometime this afternoon/evening. I will focus on homework once I have someone around who can help with Skye, and then hopefully watch the Good Wife tonight (missed last week's because the timing was off by the network and the DVR only tapes as requested).
Okay, time for coffee, some breakfast, and to start my day!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
lady of shalott...
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Saturday, October 15, 2011
Life continues to be challenging...
This won't be a terribly long post, more like a brief check-in. I really need to be working on MY homework. After rushing and phone calls with Capella, things were straightened around that I could take my class this term, only the term started on Monday and I didn't get everything figured out until Wednesday. I am playing catch-up today with posting the first week's discussion topics, and preparing for next week's assignments. Given Brie is at drill all weekend, this is going to be challenging with the baby, but I hope to enlist others to help with her so I can get stuff done.
My nerves and emotions are fairly shot right now. Things continue to be a struggle on a couple of fronts, and while the best I can do is the best I can do, leaving the rest to God, it doesn't make things feel any lighter at the moment. In amidst the struggles there are moments of grace though, and that gives me encouragement to continue forward. I have cried more this week than I have in a long time, and I pray without ceasing. I know things will turn out as they are meant to, but right now there are no clear answers in sight. Only lots of varying desires, opinions, and strong feelings. In some regard, returning to class is as much a blessing as it is another challenge: at least it gives me something I feel I have some control over and a modicum of success at. Please continue to keep us all in your prayers!
I really enjoyed having my in-laws here for the time they were here, and it was lovely to see Great-grandma again. It amazes me how well she continues to do at the age of 101.5!
I am also thankful for the beautiful weather we have had for the most part these last couple of weeks. Sitting outside has also been a comfort to me and I gain such peace from listening to the birds, feeling the breezes, and watching the trees as the leaves fall.
I have been really missing home and my support networks there of late, but I have been able to talk to my family and close friends on a regular basis, and it helps. Not quite the same as getting a hug in person, but it helps none-the-less. I am hoping I can make a trip in November, but it will all depend on finances, weather, and availability of transportation.
Ok, now on to homework!
My nerves and emotions are fairly shot right now. Things continue to be a struggle on a couple of fronts, and while the best I can do is the best I can do, leaving the rest to God, it doesn't make things feel any lighter at the moment. In amidst the struggles there are moments of grace though, and that gives me encouragement to continue forward. I have cried more this week than I have in a long time, and I pray without ceasing. I know things will turn out as they are meant to, but right now there are no clear answers in sight. Only lots of varying desires, opinions, and strong feelings. In some regard, returning to class is as much a blessing as it is another challenge: at least it gives me something I feel I have some control over and a modicum of success at. Please continue to keep us all in your prayers!
I really enjoyed having my in-laws here for the time they were here, and it was lovely to see Great-grandma again. It amazes me how well she continues to do at the age of 101.5!
I am also thankful for the beautiful weather we have had for the most part these last couple of weeks. Sitting outside has also been a comfort to me and I gain such peace from listening to the birds, feeling the breezes, and watching the trees as the leaves fall.
I have been really missing home and my support networks there of late, but I have been able to talk to my family and close friends on a regular basis, and it helps. Not quite the same as getting a hug in person, but it helps none-the-less. I am hoping I can make a trip in November, but it will all depend on finances, weather, and availability of transportation.
Ok, now on to homework!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Just a quick update...
Rei came home from the hospital Saturday evening, and things have been going ok. He went back to school on Monday with no problems, and we have appts. scheduled for post-hospital follow ups tomorrow. My in-laws safely arrived yesterday afternoon, and we had a nice evening of visiting and tv watching. Today we went out to breakfast, then picked up Aurora from school, and now Eric is grocery shopping with his mom, Brie, and the baby, while I enjoy a quiet house for a bit.
Eric saw the doctor on Monday after being super sick all weekend. He has an upper respiratory viral infection that knocked him flat for a few days, and he still has a cough and tires easily (this is like day 6/7 of it). I wonder if I am fighting it off because I have a stuffed head, cough, and general ennui, but that may be allergies too, as the farmers are harvesting their fields all around us and dust is in the air. I just feel blah though, and really don't want to do much of anything right now.
This is the first year that we will be missing the annual lawn tractor races and party up at Jesse's land. I cannot afford to take the car (and a driver) away from the household to go up there for the weekend, and I can't afford to fly Rei up. He is pretty bummed out about it, but it is what it is. I have a feeling it's gonna be a looooooonnnggg weekend with him...
I am so grateful for all the support I have been given over the past few weeks. It has been grately appreciated, and it helps to know people care. The prayers have worked too, as I continue to have the grace and strength I need daily to accomplish what has to be done, and I know that I am never completely alone, no matter how helpless I may feel at times. Just wanted to let you know you are appreciated!
Eric saw the doctor on Monday after being super sick all weekend. He has an upper respiratory viral infection that knocked him flat for a few days, and he still has a cough and tires easily (this is like day 6/7 of it). I wonder if I am fighting it off because I have a stuffed head, cough, and general ennui, but that may be allergies too, as the farmers are harvesting their fields all around us and dust is in the air. I just feel blah though, and really don't want to do much of anything right now.
This is the first year that we will be missing the annual lawn tractor races and party up at Jesse's land. I cannot afford to take the car (and a driver) away from the household to go up there for the weekend, and I can't afford to fly Rei up. He is pretty bummed out about it, but it is what it is. I have a feeling it's gonna be a looooooonnnggg weekend with him...
I am so grateful for all the support I have been given over the past few weeks. It has been grately appreciated, and it helps to know people care. The prayers have worked too, as I continue to have the grace and strength I need daily to accomplish what has to be done, and I know that I am never completely alone, no matter how helpless I may feel at times. Just wanted to let you know you are appreciated!
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