Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Last day of 2008...

and what a year it has been. I have been sitting here this morning, as well as last night before bed, reflecting on what an amazing year it has been. A year ago today Eric and I were in MN with all the kids there, in my small little house, preparing for a day of play: going to the Mall of America, then to the ice rink for the New Year's Eve party there. Eric had given me a promise ring for Christmas because the divorce was not yet final, he had officially retired from the Army, and "CHANGE" was in the air. Wow! Change it has!

God has blessed us this year in so many ways that I cannot begin to count them all. Our parents and Eric's Grandmother (who will be 99 in April) are in good health, we have the love and support of extended family and good friends, we are meeting our obligations (despite me not working yet), our family is coming together in ways we had only hoped for a year ago, and we are content. This year has not been without it's difficulties, nor has it always been smooth sailing, but we have grown together in weathering the storms that have arisen, and as Eric so beautifully put it the other night, it's not that one or the other of us has to be right, it's that we listen to each other first, and go from there. Sometimes his way is best, sometimes mine, and sometimes we find a path together we might not have otherwise thought of. It has been so rewarding to me to have a partner that respects me enough to listen as well as talk, and I am so very grateful for the year we spent courting primarily by phone because it gave us such a strong foundation for communication.

The kids seem to be flourishing in this new atmosphere of love and structure we are providing. That too has not been without it's issues at times, but it warms our hearts to see the younger 3 (and sometimes 4) run together with their mutual friends, to see how outgoing and happy they are looking. Some of the power struggling and pecking order issues from earlier on are beginning to resolve themselves, and while homework and chores remain as challenges at times, there is grudging acceptance that they are not going away or doing themselves... Shopping yesterday was a great example of their positive relationships and friendships (dare I even say sibling bonds?) as they laughed, bought for each other, teased, and joked, while I ran on my own and finished up some of my own things that needed doing. Eric and I watch and pray over the struggles Brianne and Cliff are facing as they test the waters in becoming independent adults, and we offer our unconditional love and support to both of them, even as we try to guide and challenge them to move forward in positive direction. As I have shared with Eric, parenting young adults at times is almost harder than parenting teens, because we have to let them make their own choices and learn from their mistakes, as painful as those can be at times. And we can pray, but have to leave the results in God's hands because He can go places with them that we cannot. Of course this is as true for my big kids and grandkids and extended families on both sides as well!

My friend Deb (who's birthday is today--Happy Birthday Dear Friend!) had a good point in her blog about setting goals versus making resolutions. I have been thinking about those today as well, and here are a few of mine:

1. I want to focus on being healthy rather than necessarily losing weight (although that would be nice too-heeheehee). To that end I plan to walk more and be more active (we are looking at getting "Wii fit" for the household and as I am a gamer, that should be fun; we have heard great things about it from acquaintances who have and use it daily).

2. I want to continue to strengthen my walk with the Lord, by being faithful in doing my meditations and being more active in my church attendance (the difficulty here being I still don't feel "at home" at the church we attend and I am not sure why; maybe I just need to become more active there).

3. I need to continue my job search, and I need to spend some time looking at what the qualifications are that I need to complete so I can do my internship and finish my Master's degree. That in and of itself will make me more marketable job-wise.

4. I want to focus on continuing the process of making this house a "home" by adding those personal touches that make it comforting, warm, and welcoming. It will be a process, because there are things that cost money, but if we are careful we can do it. My garden retreat will be a priority, as will be creating a space where I can "nest" when Eric is sleeping here in the house.

5. I want to continue to be a rolemodel, mentor, and parent to our brood, showing them by example that they are loved and respected, and that their well-being is our highest priority, even if it doesn't always match what they "want" in the moment...

6. Some personal goals for me: let me be less quick to pass judgment, to be a better listener when I am chomping to share my opinion, to force myself to act when I would prefer to procrastinate (especially if I know it's good for me!), and to finish the things I have started. This includes projects, chores, and goals.

This year has been an adventure. I left all I had known and loved for 46 years and moved to a new home, a new community, and a new way of life. I have no regrets for the changes I made, and while there have been some bittersweet days, I am still so content with how things are playing out. My marriage is satisfying in ways I had only dreamed of in the past, and I feel myself growing as a person within this relationship. I have enjoyed 2008, with all of it's laughter and tears, and I am looking towards 2009 with joy and excitement.

I wish God's blessing on all of you, my family, my friends, and even the random reader who pops in by accident now and again, that 2009 gives you all you need and hope for, and that you too can be content.

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