It's quiet, really quiet, right this minute. And I am at peace and content. I have spoken with my kids and my mom today, I have called friends and family "back home" and wished them well, I have made a good dinner for my husband to take to work and think of me, and I have enjoyed a peace-filled day.
It's been a different sort of Christmas for me this year, so far away from my own family and traditions that I have known and loved, and yet it hasn't been a bad or sad Christmas, not really. It's just been different. Last night Liisa and my foray into using technology to allow me to vicariously be present at the traditional Christmas eve celebration at my mom's was a bit of a bust: we had the camera up and working long enough to see the small kids (and Rei), then wouldn't maintain a signal for us in any way, shape, or form. Instead, Liisa put me on speakerphone and I listened in to the chatter and laughter and running commentary as people opened gifts and exchanged happiness. The phone got passed around and I was content to be included; I was pleased my/our gifts were well-received, and I treasured hearing everyone's voice. When we hung up I just sat here in awe that I at least had that to treasure and be grateful for. I too laughed with the family and felt included, even 600 miles away. Afterwards, I watched a tv broadcast I later found out my mom watched too: the National Council of Churches shared the Gospel message and choirs from around the country singing familiar and unfamiliar hymns and spirituals. I sang along some all by myself in the living room, and I cried through some of my favorite, ones that evoked memories of my dad, and of Christmases past. As I told Eric, I was emotional, but not sad, and it felt right, not depressing. I was alone with my thoughts, counted my blessings, and truly reflected on the meaning of the season: family, love, joy, and hope. It was needed and left me feeling peaceful and content.
Cliff had asked me to wrap a gift for Brie for him last night, which I did after the show was over. It was a video game, and he gave me a shoe box to wrap it in, so that "she would have no idea it was a game". I wrapped it in paper, then newspaper, then wrapping paper again; another thick layer of newspaper, then wrapping paper yet again, still another huge layer of newspaper, three plastic bags, and wrapping paper again, and then into the shoebox it went, where it couldn't move or make a sound! (I used packaging tape on the newspaper to help keep it secure). Next the box got taped shut, but not meanly or completely; then a final wrap in pretty paper, and under the tree it went. I guess she had fun opening it this morning! (heeheehee!)
I stayed up until after 2 am yet again, had trouble falling asleep, so I "slept in" with Eric when he got home just after 7. Unfortunately, the dog (Leina) and the cat (Pekeiko) don't like being shut out of our room, so they whined and scratched at the door ad nauseum until I couldn't stand it any more, and I finally got up around 9:30ish (I was awake long before that tho' from their antics). If I let them in when we are trying to sleep, they're pests, but if I keep them out and they know we're in there, they're still pests! Fortunately Eric tends to be a sound sleeper once he's out so they don't bug him too much... I wish I were a sound sleeper too! I am a bit weary this evening.
Cliff and Brie just took off to go to some friend's for dinner. I had been invited too, but had already planned a nice chicken dinner for us here at home, as I wanted Eric to have a nice meal for work (as opposed to tv dinners); I ate alone at the table, and will clean up the kitchen after I am done writing. Eric talked to his youngest and it sounds like things were not terribly exciting for the kids for their Christmas; I sent a text message to them saying "merry christmas" and that they were loved, and that it was "too quiet" without all of the kids here. Aurora sent me back a message promising to make up for the peace and quiet next week when they are all back home again! Made me smile! We will have our Christmas celebration as a family next Wednesday on New Year's eve and it will be fun! I am looking forward to it! Tonight I will meet up with Brie, Cliff, and some of their friends to go catch a 9 pm movie with them. That should be fun!
All in all it has been a good holiday. Despite Eric working, I have been so happy to have some of the quality time with him we have shared with everyone being out, and I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband, partner, and friend. He is a joy to me and I am so grateful! He has so many strengths and abilities, and I am so very proud to be a part of his life. I am also grateful for my new extended family. The kids are all really neat people, with such varied interests, strengths, and ideas. They are fun to talk to and do things with, and while we have our ups and downs, I really like the people they are and I think they are going to be wonderful adults someday! I was glad to hear that my In-laws finally have heat and electricity at their place again: they had been without power or heat since Friday, and it just came on last evening. They had stayed at Eric's brother's house while they waited, and I am so excited to see them this weekend when we go get the kids from their mother on Sunday. (As an aside, the judge felt it would be unfair for Eric not to have a holiday week with the kids, so they are able to come back home after spending the first week of winter break with their mom). We are going to grab Rei from the airport on Saturday around noonish (his plane comes in around 11:30), then will drive up to IN that afternoon and spend the evening in a hotel. We will pick up the kids from their mom at noon, and then head to Eric's parent's neck of the woods to see them, and drive home that evening. Short trip, but manageable, and it will be lovely to see everyone again!
Just a couple more minutes til Eric is on car patrol and I can call him to check in, then it's time to clean up the kitchen and get ready to head to the movie theater. Here's hoping everyone has had a wonderful holiday too!
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