Last Saturday something I didn't blog about came to pass: my daughter found out she was pregnant for the first time, and she was ecstatic! We all were. Then she started bleeding, and we were concerned. ER labwork and ultrasounds could neither confirm nor deny a miscarriage, so we continued to pray and cautiously wait. Tuesday's labs indicated the pregnancy was still viable, so more tests were scheduled for yesterday (with incriments of bleeding, cramping, and discomfort). Yesterday morning we got the sad news: the fetus was about 6 weeks along, and tucked firmly in her fallopian tube. Yesterday afternoon both were removed as it was becoming a threat to Liisa's health and life. It was heartbreaking!
Today I was included (via speaker phone) in a meeting with a Pastor at a neighborhood church as Liisa and Zack gave thanks for the opportunity we had to love this gift we were given for so brief a time, and to return it back to God's arms. It was sad, it was loving, it was healing, and it was the right thing to do for us. I was blessed to be included, and while my heart hurts for them and their loss, I am also grateful that things are no worse.
I am also giving thanks today that things are going relatively well for my mother. She had a routine surgery yesterday because of a kidney stone she was unable to pass, and after the surgery had trouble maintaining a regular heartbeat (sinus rythm). They kept her over night and monitored her,with a thought that they might need to "schock" her heart back into a normal rythm, but in the night it restored itself. She had an echocardiogram today, and they still want to do a chemical stress test at some point in the next few weeks (she was adamant with her bum ankle that she couldn't run a treadmill to save her life!) but they are sending her home. We are grateful that nothing significantly wrong has been found, and she can return to her normal life, taking things a bit slower while she heals up. Unfortunately, as they were taking out her IV her hand started bleeding into itself and is swollen and ugly looking. Poor mom! We prayed for her too with the pastor, which I also much appreciated.
Also yesterday my daughter-in-law had a fender-bender with a parked car, resulting in some damage to both vehicles, and her being pretty shaken up. Not sure that there is much more I can deal with, crisis-wise! When I talked to Tony he just said "man, what's next?" And I said "nothing?"
I have cried more these last few days than I have cried in a long time. The tears have fallen of their own accord and I have just let them fall. It's been so hard being so far away from everyone, knowing how much my daughter wanted me there by her and being unable to do more than be a voice on the phone. It's been hard getting info about my mom second and third hand, despite us all keeping the lines of communication wide open, because I am so used to being there and hearing it for myself. I struggle with letting go of control and having to rely on others for information. It has been humbling to be so helpless. Eric has been a blessing to me, letting me cope as I have needed to (knitting, crying, praying, and being on the phone), and providing endless hugs. I am so blessed to have him.
God is good, and he has sustained us all, along with the prayers that have been raised on our behalf by family and friends. I have spent more time on the phone these last few days, talking and texting with family members as we tried to keep everyone on the same page, and I am more grateful for today's technology than I can say. I now just need to steady my course and move forward: finishing my school term, getting my eyes dealt with, preparing for the trip to Florida with Brie and the baby, sending Rei to MN to stay with Tony, and maintaining my own household. Life is never dull!
Now I just am awaiting word that mom is safely home; Liisa and Zack have gone over to her house to see her for themselves and give her love, and then I can start to relax. What an emotional rollercoaster it's been!
No comments:
Post a Comment