Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired...

A month ago I got sick with a bad cough, about the same time Rei had swine flu.  I thought I was getting over it, but it continued to be a nagging in my chest.  Then, on Tuesday, I woke up with a sore throat and sinus drainage/gunk...  No fever at all, but a few body aches. I feel like such a hypochondriac~ I don't feel totally miserable, but I am not "well" either.  I probably should go in and get it looked at, but it seems like a lot of fuss for something that's more an annoyance than being "ill".  So instead, I just whine.  And carry around a tissue box, and a bottle of hand sanitizer.  I work this weekend, and if it isn't better by Monday then maybe I will make an appointment.

I am probably jinxing myself by saying it aloud, but so far the dogs, cats, and kids have been respectful of the new furniture.  And I have to say, I am loving being curled up at the moment in "my" chair, with my school stuff on the ottoman, a cup of coffee on the lamp table, and a blanket over my lap.  It is so cozy in here now, and I love it.

I am dragging things out with regard to finishing up my last couple of assignments for class.  I have really enjoyed this term and there is a part of me that is glad it's over, while there is another part of me that is gonna miss it.  I am waiting on approval still for my integrative project (new name for "Master's thesis"); I guess I have til January 10th for that to be approved/denied before it's an issue.  Not much I can do otherwise though, so I guess I will just wait patiently.  In the meantime, I really need to get these last few things written up, but my drive is so ambivalent at the moment.  I am really trying to do things one step at a time though, and once these assignments are done (by tomorrow), then I can focus on the holidays.

I had really, seriously toyed with the idea of going home to Minneapolis for Christmas, even to the point of checking out plane fares so we could bring Eric north with us for a couple of days, then fly him back to Mascoutah for his shifts on that Wednesday night and Christmas eve (with the plan that the kids and I would drive back Christmas day).  But I am scheduled to teach a few teen glasses that week, and I don't know if I have any takers or not, not to mention that the work schedule is not terribly flexible right now...  I don't know if I could take time off without penalty, seeing as I didn't ask early on.  It's just not feeling like the holidays around here much.  Perhaps that will change once I have the tree up and start wrapping presents and such.  Rei really wants to make Christmas cookies too.  I miss baking.  I don't know.  I am just frustrated with myself for some of my own ambivalence to get into the holiday spirit!  I am not sure where the joy went, but it feels out of my reach for the moment.  Maybe it is the assignments hanging over me, none of which are huge or onerous.  Maybe it's working in retail...  The sappiness of the carols on the PA and the consumerism, although where I am at, people are creating more gifts, so there is meaning attached.  Lots of fleece tie blankets this year!  I have this week to finish up the gifts for Minneapolis and get them mailed out, and I have a few things left to shop for; we still need to figure out what we are doing for our kids too...

I heard some sad news today: my wonderful in-law's elderly dog passed away.  She had congestive heart failure, and the cold has been too much for her.  I am so sad for them though. She was a much loved member of the family and she will be greatly missed!  I am sorry I never got a chance to meet her.  There are days I wonder how much longer we will have Midnight.  Some days he still acts like a puppy and is all bouncy and excited, whereas most days, he just lays and sleeps.  He has taken to following me around the house and laying whereever I am, and he even sleeps on the floor near my feet at night when Eric isn't home.  For all that he is a crochety old guy, I have become attached to him, and despite my occasional frustrations with him, I like him best of all the dogs.  He is definitely a character.

Rei goes tomorrow for his cardiology appointment.  We have to be at children's at 10:30.  I am taking him on my own because Eric needs to sleep, and I am ok with it.  I am fairly confident that they will find no significant changes from last year and will continue to monitor him as he grows.  As with all moms though, I do have that niggling anxiety in the back of my heart that won't quiet until after we see the doctor.  I will update you tomorrow after we get home on what we find out.

Brianne is supposed to be driving home from North Carolina tomorrow. She was going to head back today, but decided to stay til tomorrow because her friend had a company (military) Christmas party tonight and she is attending with him.  We really haven't spoken much, beyond text messages and facebook updates, but it seems like she is having fun.  I hope she takes it slow and easy coming back tomorrow though.  At least most of the bad weather is over with.

Anyhow, that is all I have for today!  Stay warm all, and those of you in MN, enjoy your snow!

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