Saturday Musings...

This is my horoscope for today:

Saturday, Mar 6th, 2010 -- Just as everything was beginning to settle down, your life becomes hectic again. But it's not necessarily unpleasant; it's just overflowing with a variety of activities that don't give you a chance to get your much-needed relaxation. Nevertheless, there still are choices you can make throughout the day that have a calming effect if you stop long enough to consider your options.

Isn't that the truth!  Life is feeling pretty full at the moment.  Eric is at youth bowling with Patrick and Aurora, and Reimond is on his way to Chicago with the Winterguard.  He won't be home until tomorrow evening.  My hours have picked up at work, both a blessing (we can always use the money) and a curse (it's a time drain because of when I work).  I still have my paper to finish, and Eric is now close to being done with all his finals.  It has been really nice having him home this week, despite the fact that we have had so much going on, and it will be hard to settle back into the routine of his being on nights for a few weeks (he made a request for strictly day shifts for the upcoming term and it was accepted--his three classes are all evening classes as he starts his bachelor's program).

The "musing" part of this entry is in relation to another blog I was reading over this last week, written by a pastor's wife, who is also mother to a fairly good-sized tribe of kids, all of whom were adopted by her and her spouse.  She recently had some fairly serious medical issues and in her reflecting on various things, she made some points that hit home with me that I have taken to heart.  Specificially, extending grace to those around us, and praying for small specific guidances and needs vs. only the "big picture" items.

I have always said that I live by God's grace, and he has never let me down.  But do I extend that same grace to others? Or do I let my own selfishness and pettiness get in the way of offering unconditional love and grace to those around me? Her example was that they have some young adult children who live at home or are moving back home for a period of time, and how they have received (un)soliticited advice about how they should be firmer in cutting the strings, or have rigid rules for what living at home entails (if they even allow said moves to take place), and for those still living at home, they should be punted out of the nest and forced to manage on their own. 

Her response to this was that all responses should be offered and tempered with grace: loving, flexible understanding, that has parameters, but not limits, and that each should be individual to the circumstances, without strings attached or expectation of "reward" (similar to the grace God extends to us, through his son).  I shared some of this with Eric as I was reading it, because it hit me like a two by four where it counts.  We have struggled so hard between us with all that Brie is facing and going through right now, and ALL of us (meaning family, friends, and others) have opinions on how we (or she) should be handling things.  But maybe God needs for her, and for us, to be in this place right now, at this time, for a reason, and instead of fighting it, protesting it, or railing against it, we need to accept with grace that this is as it is and move forward--extending grace and love rather than censure and frustration.  Perhaps she isn't doing things as we would do (or have her do) but she is doing them as best she can right now.  Only she knows where her heart and thoughts are, and if she need needs this time to figure things out, perhaps the best thing we can offer her is the safety and security she needs to do so.  As I said, it was mind opening.  I have always strived to accept the tasks that God asks of me with an open and willing heart, but sometimes I need a kick in the behind to follow through...

Her other point, about praying for (or about) the little things made so much sense to me too, along with the story she told to go with it.  Essentially, she suggested that when we break our prayers down into specific bite-sized pieces it is easier to see God's hand in the answers, than when we just offer up a blanket prayer for whatever.  That isn't to say we shouldn't be asking for his will to be done, in his own time, and to serve his purpose; there is a place for those prayers too.  But when we offer up specific needs as they are occurring, it is sometimes amazing to see how they are answered (as small "coincidences" or "random luck") where we might not have otherwised recognized God's hand in the mix.  I can't count the number of times I was feeling lonely or lost and I got a phone call or an email out of the blue that lifted me up when I least expected it (as many of you know I have a hard time reaching out when in a funk--I don't like to whine and complain.  Vent at time for sure--but not cry).  Essentially her point was that it is easy to overlook God's hand in the day to day functioning of our lives if we don't have our eyes open for it, and that it is all too easy to attribute God's grace to our own "good fortune" or doings...  Again, it made sense to me at a time I needed to hear it.  There is much I offer up in prayer as I go about my day (I keep a running dialogue in my head with God many times a day), but I often forget to pause for his responses.  They are there though, in the little things, if we have our eyes and our hearts open.  It was a good reminder to me.

I like to follow various blogs because I love to hear what other people have to say about their lives, their beliefs, their activities...  Some make me realized how blessed I am, others remind me that there is more I could be doing; some offer me great ideas and inspiration about things I am interested in (my hobbies or lifestyle changes), and all have those kernals of truth: that no one's life is exactly the same, but emotions are universal yet we all respond differently.  I find it fascinating to see some of these "snapshots" of other lives and experiences.

Anyhow, those are the things that are floating through my mind today as I go about my chores this morning, then ready for work.  I actually have a 6 hour shift today, and I have to do some shopping too--double employee discount days yesterday and today!  I promised Liisa I would pick up a couple of new cartridges for her Cricut while they are on sale and I have the discount available; and I need to replace some embroidery needles, tear away stabilizer, and thread (from doing those bags for the drill team).  Butterick patterns are also on sale, so I want to browse their book and see if anything appeals to me... Work is nuts right now because we are heading into the "Coupon Bonanza" starting Sunday, and inventory, and we have been running short handed...  I come home from work ready to drop! And I work all weekend (Friday, today, and tomorrow).  

We had the closing yesterday on the refinance, and I can finally say that this house is now "mine" too.  I hadn't realized how heavily it had weighed on me that my name wasn't on it jointly (Eric's ex's was) until the paperwork was signed and Eric said "now it is legally your house!" Then it was like a huge boulder had been lifted off my heart and I could look around here with new eyes, and perhaps even a greater investment in making changes and personalizing it.  I will admit, I have been struggling with homesickness something fierce this last week.  I have been really missing my mom, my sister, my son, Andrea, and the babies...  I haven't been back since October and I miss them all so much.  Having Liisa here was wonderful and helped immensely, but I need to hug everyone else too! (I miss my brothers and their families too, but it's not the same relationship as I have with Kristi or my mom).  

Now I have to get moving--I have less than 2 hours before I head to work!  Thanks for letting me ramble!