It's so hard to believe, but 25 years ago Liisa was born and my life was never the same afterwards. Who could have predicted the joy (and tears at times) such a teeny, tiny baby could bring to my life! Liisa wasn't a planned baby: I was dating her dad and going to college when I found out she was "expected"; initially Jim and I didn't plan to get married, because I wanted a marriage to be for the "right reasons" (whatever those are), rather than a knee-jerk response to an unexpected pregnancy. My family was behind us 100% though, and I planned to raise her from the get-go. And Jim and I did marry, when I was about 5 months along. Wow, the time has flown past!
My pregnancy was hard at times--there were a lot of stressors on us, I was sick a lot, and it didn't help that she was born during one of the hardest winters MN had seen in ages. I tell the story of my last day after work: when getting off the bus the plows had been through, but people had not yet been out to shovel, and I was so hugely pregnant I sank in the snow drift up to my thighs and had a hard time getting out! I walked home crying my eyes out, went to my ob appointment, and was told it was time to be done working, my blood pressure was too high. Yeah, I felt like a beached whale in that moment...
I went into labor with Liisa shortly after midnight on the 7th, and the contractions stayed consistent. I went to the hospital late afternoon, and we were doing ok; I just wasn't dilating at a good pace. Then they added in pitocin, which SUCKED big time--the labor was miserably intense and so out of my control... And then there was Liisa, who was quickly becoming more and more stressed. I ended up going in for an emergency cesarean at 11 pm, I was awake for the procedure but had to be propped on my left side (because any other position and her heart rate would drop to zero!), and within minutes they had her delivered. She was so very tiny: all of 6 lbs, 6 and a half oz., and 18 inches long. She screamed bloody murder and that saved her life: her umbilical cord had been wrapped aroun her neck and shoulders and she was slowly being strangled as she descended in the birth canal, and when I laid in any other position, the unbilical cord was pinched off between her shoulder and my pubic bone, so that she was not getting what she needed from me. Her lungs were full of myconeum and they raced her to intensive care, where they suctioned her out, and there she stayed for over 12 hours before I could even see her once... I didn't get to meet my beautiful girl until after noon on the following day!
Back in those days, only immediate family could see or hold the newborn, so my siblings impatiently waited for us to come home from the hospital, and on the day Liisa came home it was 35 below real temperature, with a 60 below wind chill, and the thermostat went out on our car, a little Chevy Nova. We drove home with her so bundled in her car seat you couldn't see there was a baby in there! Neal met us at the apartment, to be our first visitor to hold her, and while he was disappointed she wasn't a boy, he loved her anyway. Kristi came over every day after school on the city bus to help me while I healed up (and picked Liisa up every chance she got--"Reina, I swear she was awake in the crib and starting to fuss--I didn't wake her up!--yeah right... And when she was 3 weeks old, we moved back in with my parents and sibs: 4 generations under one roof for almost a year. Liisa was much loved by all, much spoiled by all, and was as much a little sister in the family as she was a niece... She's still much loved and much spoiled!
I look at this beautiful daughter of mine and wonder how I could have been so blessed. My father always said a baby is a gift from God, whom he brings in his own time and for his own purpose. Liisa has truly been that. I am so very proud of the woman she has become: strong, independent, self-assured... She is so like me in many ways, yet in others she is more like my mom, and I see bits and pieces of Jim's mom in her too. She comes from a long line of strong and independent women (after all, my dad's mom came all alone to the U.S. from Finland as a 16 year old, and look at the family she founded!) so her roots are strong and deep. I love her joyousness and playfulness, as well as her ability to cut to the chase on things. Sometimes I despair of how concrete she can be (black and white thinking, where I see all sorts of shades of grey), but I respect that too, because she sees things clearly and isn't afraid to speak her mind or pussyfoot around. I remember holding her as a newborn in my arms and dreaming about what she would be like as an adult. I think MY dreams for her have come true: she is someone I am proud to have as a daughter, and I enjoy the friendship that we share along with the bonds of love between us. She has been my rock, my comfort, my inspiration, and my reason for being at various points in her life. I treasure my memories of watching her grow and mature, and I cannot believe how fast that has occurred. I really don't feel too much different today than I did when she was born. Oh, I'm a lot wiser (I hope), and I have experience to back me up, but I don't feel "old"... So who said she could grow up, anyway!
Liisa, I wish you much joy and happiness in the coming year(s); may you find love, contentment, and peace, flavored with enough trials and challenges that you can appreciate what you have and not take it for granted. I am so very proud of you and I love you so very much. God bless you my sweet baby girl, and be with you always!
Mom
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