It is so nice to finally see the sunshine again. Someone commented on my last entry asking if I had seen Noah around at all recently--sure felt that way as the heavens poured down on us! I hope to get lots of my in the house chores done this morning so I can spend the early afternoon basking like a cat on my swing in front of the house with some stitchery or a book. The sunshine is helping my moods and energy levels to a small degree, although they still fluctuate far too easily and I feel myself withdrawing...
Things are feeling a bit unsettled around here as Miss Aurora's birthday plans are not coming together as she had hoped. Her mom made arrangements with the school to excuse her from her model UN team commitment, which she is very upset about (and has worked hard to earn her place on--it's being held at a local college on Thursday), and she had really wanted to spend her 16th birthday celebrating with friends (it's on a Friday and there is no school). She also was hoping to practice her bowling with the youth league on Saturday (home lanes and all that) in preparation for High School bowling try-outs next week. None of that has carried any weight and she is expected to go out of town on Wednesday after school. The still unresolved issue right now is how she will get home; Eric cannot pick her up on Sunday--he is working overnights all weekend, and he can't get out of it. They are so short-staffed as it is he has been picking up some "mandatory overtime" so that they have coverage. I am also scheduled to work, and in retail, we are headed into our busy season: holiday outfits, Christmas gift making, and decorating accessories. I don't have the option to call off work any easier than Eric does. This has been all laid out and fighting about it isn't going to change anything. I do stand by my belief that it is important and necessary that the kids spend quality time with their mom. As a mother I understand her wishes completely, and while I do see where the kids (and I do mean all three of them) are coming from in their feelings, things won't improve unless everyone makes an effort to reconcile, forgive, and move forward. It would be nice to see the effort being made this way too on their behalf once in a while. Participating in their world, and showing interest and commitment goes so far toward mending bridges. And I am not speaking from a position of inexperience. I have my own situation to draw on, and that too colors my perspective. It's just really hard (uncomfortable) sitting where I sit right now, because it is not my place to get in the middle of any of it, and while I see things one way or another, I don't have the right to interfere. The dynamics of their old family structure are coloring all of it, and I am not a part of any of that. So I listen, I offer my suggestions where I think they might be helpful, I comfort as I can, and I try to offer as unbiased an opinion as I am able to. Blended families are hard!!!!
Patrick is working most of the weekend (what a shock!~heeheehee), and Brianne is doing stuff with the Nat'l Guard all weekend, so that just leaves Rei to fend for himself much of this long weekend off. I will probably be running him back and forth to the skatepark in Belleville between work shifts... He has been going there after bowling the last couple of Saturdays and has had a wonderful time, returning home proud but scraped and bruised as he masters new skills.
Tony is talking about possibly coming down for a visit in a couple of weeks, and I so hope he does. Alexis and Justin called me yesterday and Alexis was adamant (wouldn't let me even get a word in edgewise!) that "you need to come HOME Gramma Reina, you NEED to come home now! I need you Gramma Reina, I need you come home NOW!" I just had to smile. Then Justin told me I should just pack 2 suitcases and come visit for "a really long long time" cuz he loves me and misses me... I grinned from ear to ear, even as a couple of tears snuck down my cheeks. Those little ones mean the world to me and I am so glad they haven't forgotten me. As much as I loved my grandparents, they were mostly strangers to me because they were on the east coast while we were in MN. I only saw them once a year for a few weeks and the rest of the time it was just random phone calls, letters, gifts in the mail, and exchanging pictures now and again. I want to have the relationship with my grandkids that my mom has with my kids--active, involved knowledge and love. It does my heart good to know that they love me and remember me.
Well, I think it is time I get headed downstairs for the rest of my morning. The boys picked up all fabric related items off their bedroom floor, and these got deposited in the laundry room this morning. I cannot see the floor (or the washing machine!) so I guess I should get started on marathon laundry. I will take my laptop and my books down with me so that I can study between loads, and maybe run the vaccuum too before Eric gets home from class and needs to go to bed. His working nights with morning classes makes sleep a challenge for him; another reason why it is so important he sleep when he is able to!
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